A ton has been written about feedback, so what's different about this series of articles?
So much of what we focus on when writing about feedback is about the mechanics or the process of giving it. I think many of us ‘get’ that part. But what about taking it a little deeper?
So you're in a performance review, and your boss uses the sandwich feedback method (does anyone do this anymore?)
"You did a really great job on your last project. You really showed your commitment to getting the work done. One thing I noticed is that you had a hard time delegating and took on a lot of the work yourself. But the team was really happy, so great job."
How does this feedback help you? It barely does. You got a couple of compliments sandwiched around a comment that gives you no clue how significant this feedback is. You walk away thinking you did pretty well, but the reality could be that your lack of delegation really limited the people doing the work. Months later, your manager is upset with you because you're still not delegating after getting that sandwich feedback. You had no idea!
Feedback needs to be done with depth. Sandwich feedback is all about keeping us both comfortable (both the receiver and the giver). The reality is, we're not supposed to be comfortable when we're in a growth mindset. Comfort = fixed. Discomfort (but not PANICKED) = growth.
Instead of focusing on how to give feedback, let's focus on how to give and receive it, emotionally. At work, we tend to want emotions and feelings to stay hidden. We want to be fully rational. We try to check our humanness at the door. The fact is, we CAN'T and SHOULDN'T. The humanness of our teams at work is what makes work so interesting! It's where innovation happens. We're not robots, and we need to stop trying to be.
When someone gives us constructive feedback, it can sting. When we have a realization about ourselves, it can be devastating! And that's normal.
This series of articles will describe some steps to create a culture of safety that opens your team up to feedback. Hint: It's not automatic, and it's not actually easy. It is simple, but that doesn't make it easy.
First, we'll discuss the ridiculousness that is our lizard brain. It's a part of us that we CAN do something about. I call it ridiculous because it's there to keep us alive. The trouble is, it's activated not only when our lives are threatened, but also when are egos are threatened. We'll walk through some steps on how to beat your lizard brain and put yourself into learning/listening mode when confronted with an ego impacting 'threat'.A ton has been written about feedback, so what's different about this series of articles?
So much of what we focus on when writing about feedback is about the mechanics or the process of giving it. I think many of us ‘get’ that part. But what about taking it a little deeper?
So you're in a performance review, and your boss uses the sandwich feedback method (does anyone do this anymore?)
"You did a really great job on your last project. You really showed your commitment to getting the work done. One thing I noticed is that you had a hard time delegating and took on a lot of the work yourself. But the team was really happy, so great job."
How does this feedback help you? It barely does. You got a couple of compliments sandwiched around a comment that gives you no clue how significant this feedback is. You walk away thinking you did pretty well, but the reality could be that your lack of delegation really limited the people doing the work. Months later, your manager is upset with you because you're still not delegating after getting that sandwich feedback. You had no idea!
Feedback needs to be done with depth. Sandwich feedback is all about keeping us both comfortable (both the receiver and the giver). The reality is, we're not supposed to be comfortable when we're in a growth mindset. Comfort = fixed. Discomfort (but not PANICKED) = growth.
Instead of focusing on how to give feedback, let's focus on how to give and receive it, emotionally. At work, we tend to want emotions and feelings to stay hidden. We want to be fully rational. We try to check our humanness at the door. The fact is, we CAN'T and SHOULDN'T. The humanness of our teams at work is what makes work so interesting! It's where innovation happens. We're not robots, and we need to stop trying to be.
When someone gives us constructive feedback, it can sting. When we have a realization about ourselves, it can be devastating! And that's normal.
This series of articles will describe some steps to create a culture of safety that opens your team up to feedback. Hint: It's not automatic, and it's not actually easy. It is simple, but that doesn't make it easy.
First, we'll discuss the ridiculousness that is our lizard brain. It's a part of us that we CAN do something about. I call it ridiculous because it's there to keep us alive. The trouble is, it's activated not only when our lives are threatened, but also when are egos are threatened. We'll walk through some steps on how to beat your lizard brain and put yourself into learning/listening mode when confronted with an ego impacting 'threat'.
Second, we'll discuss how to build trust among people. Safety is really important in opening up your teams and organization to feedback. And it's not automatic. When I know that my coworker has my back, has my best interest at heart, and is also vulnerable with me about their strengths and weaknesses, I can feel safe to share feedback with them, and also receive feedback from them. It's worth knowing your coworkers in a deeper way. And it won't actually kill you. More than likely, it will free you!
Third, we will describe some ways of looking at your self-awareness. Are you actively seeking to discover your blindspots? How much of your true self do you share with the people around you?
I'm looking forward to hearing your feedback on this! We'll see if I can put my own recommendations to use.
Make it a great week!
Second, we'll discuss how to build trust among people. Safety is really important in opening up your teams and organization to feedback. And it's not automatic. When I know that my coworker has my back, has my best interest at heart, and is also vulnerable with me about their strengths and weaknesses, I can feel safe to share feedback with them, and also receive feedback from them. It's worth knowing your coworkers in a deeper way. And it won't actually kill you. More than likely, it will free you!
Third, we will describe some ways of looking at your self-awareness. Are you actively seeking to discover your blindspots? How much of your true self do you share with the people around you?
I'm looking forward to hearing your feedback on this! We'll see if I can put my own recommendations to use.
Make it a great week!
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